Whens the right time for parents to cut the apron strings and just be grandparents.

I’m a get on with it kind of girl, always have been and probably always will be. When it comes to my kids I’m very rarely reliant on anyone unless I desperately need the help.

Dan’s mum has Max on a Tuesday Morning while I and Kai go and do baby yoga. I really appreciate this weekly help because it means me and the small get a little quality alone time together (along with around 10 other mums and babies of course). The only other time the grandparents have the boys is if I’m sick, like death’s door sick.

I see quite a lot Grandparents not really allowing their children to be parents. Personally, I don’t have this issue with mine because to be honest, there’s zero interest in me or my kids. My in-laws pretty much leave us to get on with it.

So my question being when should Parents cut those apron strings and allow their children (fully grown id imagine) to be the parents. I’m of the belief that if you are grown up enough to make a baby then your grown enough to actually do the parenting.

Don’t get me wrong we all need a break now and then but when is enough enough, when is the babying from the parents becoming detrimental to their children’s ability to be parents themselves and will this have an effect on their own children in the future (in other words will the children become products of their own environment).

My experiences with grandparents aren’t necessarily positive ones, so I wanted to find out of I was the only one who thinks the way I do – That sometimes you need to step back and let your kids be parents… the old sink or swim mentality.

It turns out I’m not alone, quite a few mums seem to have had some real troubles with grandparents not allowing them to parent their own kids. Some of the stories I heard today from the mummies who reached out shocked me and made my grievances seem pretty petty. Take a read see if you agree:

 

Some have pushy grandparents like Emily from www.aslummymummy.com  whose in-laws who were supposed to be babysitting her daughter from a previous marriage tracked her Dad down on facebook to come and pick her up. They then proceeded to turn up uninvited at the delivery ward. They also felt it their place to announce babies birth (This happened to me with Kai).

My in-laws were looking after my daughter from a previous relationship when I went into labour.

They contacted her father through Facebook and asked him to pick her up. They then proceeded to turn up at the labour suite uninvited. I was so upset. especially as it was Christmas Day.

(Just to add they hadn’t met him or spoken to him before, so they must have had to do some digging about to even find him on there)

They also announced the birth to family members before we did.

Lisa from www.thatbritishbetty.com found her 5-week old being fed CUSTARD by her child’s grandparents:

Mine was a nightmare. Fed my 5 week old daughter CUSTARD when my back was turned one Sunday afternoon. By Monday, we ended up in hospital with a very poorly girl. She then stated that I was ‘making a fuss’ and that her three boys were all on Weetabix at 3 weeks old and turned out fine (!). Just the tip of the iceberg and I finally cut her off for good a few years ago

 

Jade from Www.rawchildhood.co.uk encountered the good old “well it will be a girl next time” like haveing a child of the same sex is somehow inferior to having one of each: Second pregnancy we found out we were having another boy. My MIL said “oh no, well it will be a girl next time” like that was the reason we wanted another baby. To be fair she wasn’t the only person who said it but it just made me realise how prominent it is in our society now that the perfect family is ‘one of each’. Now we find out in 6 weeks what we are having with our third baby and it’s already started “I can’t wait to buy cute little dresses”. How do people know what children we want?! Each child is a blessing and I wouldn’t change my two boys for the world!

So do you in-laws or parents allow you to actually be a parent to your child or do you find them interfering, telling you how to feed, dress or bring up your child. When do we draw the line and say enough is enough!

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. May 22, 2017 / 7:29 pm

    It’s so tricky as I love the grand parents being hands on with the kids but we’re lucky they don’t take over. Gheynparent diffetently to us so I think they sometimes struggle just watching our way but we’re very grateful of the free childcare and strong relationship the girls have wit them x

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