Grandparents- Do we expect too much?

I was brought up by a single mother on benefits, there were 6 of us, my mother brought us up to never expect handouts.

That if you wanted things in life you had to work to earn them.

This is my mindset when it comes to life and my kids and how I bring them up. I would say I’m a very proud parent and will only really ask for help when it genuinely is needed.

 

Way back when I was young if you had a family then the man went to work and the mum stayed home with the kids. That was just how it was, my mum certainly had no choice because my dad walked when we were all very young but she was with us at home until my youngest brother went to school.

Times change as do priorities, nowadays it is the norm for both parents to be at work and for the grandparents to help out with the kids.

If you need that kind of help and the grandparents are able then that really is fab, I’m not knocking any grandparent who wants to and is able to help with childcare.

The problem is when it is expected.

We always thought before I fell with Max that I would go back to work and my mother in law would watch Max. Two things became very apparent to me after I had him, firstly my mother in law wouldn’t be able to physically have Max even on a part-time basis. Kids are a lot of work and she’s no spring chicken. It would have been grossly unfair on her to just expect her to look after my child.

Two things became very apparent to me after I had him. firstly my mother in law wouldn’t be able to physically have Max even on a part-time basis. Kids are a lot of work and she’s no spring chicken.

Firstly my mother in law wouldn’t be able to physically have Max even on a part-time basis. Kids are a lot of work and she’s no spring chicken.

It would have been grossly unfair on her to just expect her to look after my child. I would want the boy’s nan to not feel the pressure of looking after my children, I want her to enjoy them not to feel stressed at the prospect of seeing them on a regular basis.

Secondly, I wanted to be home with my child. Like I mentioned my mum was always there for us as kids, she dropped us off at school and was home for us every night.I wanted the same for my children. I want to bring them up they are my kids.

So the question remains, do we depend on the help from grandparents too much and is it fair of us to expect this? Do working parents really have much of a choice given the cost of rising childcare.

I saw something a while back about how the government will pay grandparents a benefit if both parents work X amount of hours.

Is this the answer. I’m not so sure. What is the answer? I have no clue.

I do know one thing though, we as parents shouldn’t take grandparents for granted because they deserve a life as well. They have raised their kids and made sacrifices, now it’s time for them.

What are your views, are we expecting too much from grandparents or is it a given that they should help?

 

 

 

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