The absent father and the effect on a child…

As a child, I grieved the loss of a parent, not in the typical sense if the word but in the sense that my father was no longer there at home with myself and my siblings. One day he was there and the next he was gone.

One day he was there and the next he was gone.

My father wasn’t tragically taken from us, he chose to go.

He wasn’t pushed into leaving his family of 6 children he walked. Away from his family and life as we knew it.

I was 6 when my parents divorced. To be honest there are gaps in my memory from that time. I can remember lots of shouting between my mum and dad. I imagine it was a very unhappy time for me and my siblings.

It happened when I was so young and I don’t really know the ins and outs of what went on between my parents.

I recall thinking that he must not have loved us anymore, maybe we had done something to make him want to leave.

The divorce had a huge impact on me and my brothers ( my sister went to live with him when he left, shortly after he put her in care). It shaped the way I felt about father figures and probably men in general. It also made me extremely protective of my mum. No child should ever have to feel that way.

My mums a nightmare now but she did a good job raising me and my brothers. Being a single mum can’t have been easy. She was actually pregnant with my youngest brother when he left. My dad’s family pretty much abandoned us when he left so we only had my mum and each other. Not that we minded we were a unit a team looking out for one another and always have each other’s backs.

My dad’s family pretty much abandoned us when he left so we only had my mum and each other. Not that we minded we were a unit a team looking out for one another and always have each other’s backs.

As an adult, I struggle to get to grips with how any man could abandon his kids like that.

Interestingly it’s something my brother has done with his own child, so I have to wonder if maybe he was a product of his own environment. Like maybe that even shaped him and his future as well.

It’s something I never want my kids to have to go thru.

Even if my marriage falls apart I know Dan will always be a father to his children. Dan’s family will forever be our family regardless of what status we hold as a couple.

Dan’s family will forever be our family regardless of what status we hold as a couple.

Our children will always come first no matter what!

If you are going through a divorce then check out this website for helping your kids to cope with the inevitable changes: Kidshealth

 

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